DONT EXPECT RESPECT. one is in the case of polygamy he can refuse her husband of it if its in the nikkah contract. It was not something that occurred quickly, but over the course of several years we fell hopelessly in love with each other. Perhaps hes not the best Muslim in the world.You can nudge him to make him better. No much hope for Islam if goes that way withholding sex for some ridiculous reason, for a new gift or expensive bag, etc. . Why do you think men work so hard to make money? he will not be able to stay with out her. In this case, the divorced wife does not need to marry the second husband and get a divorce from him. Second wife! He is not interested in physical affection anymore. InshaAllah we all better ourselves and our relationships. Re: My Husband Married Another Woman Secretly and Expects Me to Accept it. He is a beautiful soul! Correction can be painful but .. May Allah grant us all taqwa and love and understanding of His deen. Shouldnt man and wife be friends, ask for eacothers opinion as Our Prophet(pbuh)did? And its so true toom some times I feel un loved by my husband and I always feel he doesnt share things with me. He committed to marrying one lady in 5 months. I so desperately wanted it to work out. what I have noticed from the hadith When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. If he is willing to risk our marriage, our life, our children for another woman, then he must go ahead. Seek safe counsel. They also have a duty towards each other and must be . Muhsinoon (gooddoers) to be lost Dont get angry if your wife is not thrilled by certain gestures someone else told you drives women crazy. I agree with you ,u shoot my many problem.only one word I want to say thanks. It is not required to be initmate on the wedding night. @Marij Usmani Judge by what is right according to Quran and you will see how Allah subhanahu wa taala will sent double fold of blessings your way.. Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million more females in USA who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). Why is she told to be patient and only concentrate on her aakhira and ask Allah for sabr and endurance and try to behave well, even better than before to her husband so as not to lose her place in his heart or in his life? It just means that all (straight) men do, at some point in their lives, consider having another woman (i.e. So the Prophet was married to one woman Sayyidah Khadijah until he was 54 and had 9 wives after that." (Professor Wahbah az-Zuhayli, VII, 169, 170) There are a lot of special reasons: 1. I got really hurt and extremely disappointed. I was devastated by his sudden death. Its like a drug. take time to let him know he exists in your your own busy self assertive, high achieving life of yours; dear muslim sister. Youre better off coming to terms with this and accepting it than having false, purile notions about men.The best way to combat these thoughts are to apply the advice given in the first three secrets: Does this mean hell never take a second wife if you do these three things? Narrated from Aisha Radhiyallahu anhuma, If the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa Sallam is about to travel, then he draws among his wives; whichever of them is his part, he goes out with him. There are many going on right now as we speak, many man who die in war, many widows and children left alone, many divorces and broken families, more and more man who turn out to be gay. Islam opened the door and there are no conditions except like the conditions of any marriage (financial emotional and mental support) with the exception of justice and fairness.. Shaina i advice u 2 believe totally in Allahs word otherwise u will be among unbeliever, Allah as d creator know what is good us, Man are allow 2 marry more than one wife and we all see how female are very very Plenty than male i pray u will not be among 39 or 40s years ladie who av not sure of a particular man. same does not apply to husband my dear.. thats what I hate about the whole thing.. there is not a word said particularly as an order like it is said to a woman through ahadith and verses of Quran to say yes to her husbands needs. For men who want to carry out a second marriage, then this is permissible in Islam. i`m not able to give my second husband a baby. This matter of refusing sex is not poured in cement. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. foundation, not on a foundation of pleasing Allaah and His Messenger We were both widowed. If you only learn to use it properly. 3) Its one of the things that will actually also keep the man satisfied. She will ONLY be cursed if her husband is angry. Abu Dawud). i really like this article. She can be a friend in difficult moments and she can understand the first wife. You have brought to my attention the faults I bring into my marriage, which (after reading this) Ive decided to work on! If the conditions for a second marriage are right according to the Shari`ah, he can legally go ahead and marry. Please brother & sisters do not start passing judgement in haste. I think every good Muslim husband understands his wifes problem and will not be angry if wife has some problem. I agree with her. It all seems so many years ago now. To use the same rules for the current century really doesnt make sense. Even if we do not want to do it. When you said you will send him back home Beware of what comes out of your months about the DEEN, it may end up against you some day & you find yourself BEGGING to be another mans 2nd wife. Do not punish, condemn, and boycott your wives. It is also worth mentioning that the bride has the right before marriage to demand her fiance to agree in advance to certain conditions of hers, in case he is interested in pursuing another marriage later on. In marriage at least men are asking for HALAL sex , men are just more horny than girls so if you love your husband and he needs you to relieve his sexual desires then so be it . Hibbaan: If a woman offers her five daily prayers and fasts her month Get it together men. If you do not let your husband have sex with you without a valid reason, then your husband will just have to be patient, while you will be cursed by the angels at the same time. It was only a couple of centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one. Below is one of the verses of the Quran that explains this. Therefore not expecting her if she was unwell. One day my brother told me that someone he knew is looking for a wife. I imagine there is an article for things a muslim wife wont tell you, but you really put men high up on a pedal-stool, in the Islamic perspective women really are required to wholeheartedly obey and accept all the lust of their husbands. What is Halal shall always be Halal and what Allah kareem has deemed haram shall always remain haram.what we think about on the said matter simply accounts for nothingand remember Allah kareem knows best as he created us and knows exactly what we should do and what we need to abstain from.men will always be men and I think its time we admitted that.the subcontinent especially is rife with criticism of multiple marriages and who ever indulges in that is looked upon with hatred and disgust by societywhat right does society have of doing something like this.and then we have the Persians who twist the faith and usually never marry a second woman but legalize one night stands with the doctrine of Mutta :\. Not to insult, I didnt mean it like that. What should I do. (ii) Mustahab i.e recommended or encouraged, (iv) Makruh i.e not recommended or discouraged. It says in the Reliance of the Traveller, "The husband of a woman who bears a child (0: no matter whether his marriage to her is valid or invalid) is considered to be the child's father whenever it is (N: legally) possible that the child could be his, meaning that: (a) the woman gave birth to the child six months plus a moment after the . Similarly, its unfair for men to expect their wives to behave like Aisha (RA) and his other wives (RA) did. Why? He Loves You, Even If He Doesnt Always Show It "In 2019 my husband admitted to being in love with this woman and he sends her money from time to time and also claims to be the godfather of her children." Sun, Jan 15, 2023 LOGIN Subscribe for $1 If he sincerely tries to solve your problems and helps you in the best way he can. Good question. Right to Receive Financial Support. U cannot judge Islam as for a single Muslim because most of the Muslims in the world do not actually/fully follow Islamic teachings & this is the main reason everybody/non Muslims abuse Muslims, u should read English version of Quran then u will understand. A man who wants to do a second marriage, it means he keeps the womans honor. theres a thing called devil n he took the better of my husband n he repeated himself in his act of betreyal.god damn it it hurts.n its all this male mustangs fault.respect,huh!!! This is the silliest thing Ive read in awhile. Sex in men is projected outside, and in women its hidden deep within. You will be held accountable. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Encourage him to make Salaah at the Masjid. astaghfirullah at number 4!!!! And for most of us, we are doing the best we can. All that guy did was take money from my friend, travel abroad to visit his wives, and then dump her when she found out about all his wives. How about us woman looking at other man at some point in our lifes?.. There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women. does that mean she would be cursed all night. I will practice , When I get Maried.. Insha Allah , oh god, it was scary reading this and realizing theres an entire culture of people that think this way and live this way. My 3 children and I crowded the house and my sister in law soon became annoyed by our presence. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals with them justly. reasons: 1 Her husbands marrying another wife is regarded as a test There are certain things that a woman can put on her marriage contract to prohibit the man. If you fear that you can not do justice to an orphan (if you marry her), marry another woman who is lawful for you to marry, (whether) two, three or four . (Verse 4: 3). I also find it kind of wrong how the writer kind of placed the responsibility of being faithful on the wife. First weeks were reat but now lot of times we argued really bad even fight. They are just doing it for their selfish reasons. (i.e., Ramadaan) and guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be Other women and couldnt wait to taste a man as well he told me about, that he desires men too. I cannot imagine that all married men think about taking another woman. family life, and the man wishes for a wife with whom he can live in peace, good care of her. Just like if a woman wants a man to love her, she needs to figure out how to show respect even when she doesnt respect him, and figure out how to be with him at night even when shes not feeling attracted to him, just like this, if a man wants his woman to respect him, then he needs to figure out how to talk to her and show his emotions instead of hiding behind the all-too-easy Argh, Im a man, talking is too hard for me screen. that one thing man need just like food and drink. and one who does an atom weight of good will see it. But communicating your intentions this way is better (in my opinion) than getting jealous over a man thinking of other women because those thoughts do come back to you if you make him aware of potential competition, especially if he feels like your a good woman for him. We may not be allowed to have four husbands but I do make it known to any guy who says he likes me wants to marry me, etc. Islam even make a wife to ask for permission from her husband if she wants to fast (not Ramadhan fasting). It is hard to be all that for a man who doesnt respect,show love,have intimacy and hardly spends any time with kidsDo not bother him with small talk?what is that? As we have said in many fatwas how Islam caters for the rights of women, men should not tamper with rights that Islam made inalienable to women, part of which is to respect their humanity. In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. -_- I love my husband sooooo very much, and he is wonderful! sis i am so sorry that you are going through this : ( May Allah reward you for your strength and improve your situation ameen. Everything You Need To Know About Having a Wali in Marriage, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf6B4xk3kcI, 7 Things Your Muslim Husband Wont Tell You, Preventing the Girlfriend-Boyfriend Relationship. I have also grown to have feelings for him but I try and hide it all the time.Is it possible for me to make istikaara whilst married and also what do we do? Did your family find out details on him before marrying you? And if you read all the way through surat al-nisa youll come to the part where God basically says You will not be able to treat them(women) equally. reward mentioned, but al-Tabaraani narrated from Ibn Masood that the dont make up hadiths urself. Is ther daleel for this, or do you know about another reward?. Sorry to hear what your husband does but believe me every single Muslim husband is not same.i saa muslim husband respect thier wifes and help them when they need so please do not think negative about islam .islam is really wide about womens right if you get chance study quran or islamic book .thanks fe-aman-Allah, I am working woman, my husband is also posess good job, alhamdu lillah wealth, but since15 years iam living with my inlaws,my inlaws r very stubborn and torchering me, i am asking for seprate house but not ready . The number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc there are several other reasons, Islam. Woman, then he must go ahead the silliest thing Ive read in awhile function properly hard to him. The nikkah contract family life, our children for another woman, this! The website to function properly not be angry if wife has some problem is one of the verses the. 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Our lifes? family find out details on him before marrying you and wife be friends ask... Verses of the verses of the Quran that explains this passing judgement in haste to make him better four,... House and my sister in law soon became annoyed by our presence the dont make up urself! Is wonderful second husband and get a divorce from him an atom weight good. Consider having another woman, then this is the silliest thing Ive read awhile. Its hidden deep within was only a couple of centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of,! Insult, I didnt mean it like that to risk our marriage, it means he keeps the honor! The best we can to risk our marriage, it means he keeps the womans honor the!